think i probably have enough happenings in my life to warrant a semi-regular “sometimes i’m a spaz segment” here on the blog. i’ll give a good christmas-time one for today.
the other night i was eating dinner with the kids while chris was at a meeting. the kids were being really, really loud and rude at the table and i had had enough of telling them calmly to have good manners at the table. so i raised my voice and said something like, “come on GUYS, you have to calm down! you’re driving me nuts! you’re being so RUDE!”
while i was saying this there was an incredibly loud knocking at the door which was quite unsettling. at first i thought it was an insane person, but then i thought maybe it was one of the many packages of gifts i’ve ordered, so i went to the door. (i’ll risk a lot for presents)
it was a couple of tweenaged boys who asked ever so earnestly if they could sing me a christmas carol. i turned beet red thinking they had obviously heard me yelling at my children from the street and thought i could use a good cheering up. i cleared my throat and gave them a sheepish, “um, sure – can i go get my kids so they can hear?”
the boys belted out a very good rendition of “deck the halls” and my kids loved it. the song ended and we clapped for them. and then we all just stood there face to face in silence. looooong, quiet, silence. so then i realized they must be waiting for a tip. i shuffled through the piles of clutter on the table to find my wallet and found that i only had a single, solitary dollar. {which i must say is actually quite miraculous because i never have cash.} i gave the dollar to jack and whispered frantically, “give this to the boys…quick!” he was too afraid embarrassed, so he handed it back to me. at this point another boy had run up to our porch, so i handed him the dollar muttering something like, “sorry, boys. that’s all i have. if i had more, i’d give it to you! you were really good!” they all just kind of looked at me like i was crazy, looked at the rumpled dollar in confusion and started to walk away. “merry christmas!” i yelled after them.
we sat back at the table and the kids started hysterically laughing and admonishing me. jack said, “MOM! they sing for the enjoyment, not for a measly little dollar!” and my FOUR year old said, “yeah, MOM. they don’t want your wrinkly old dollar!” they all started chiming in with their innocent little insults. “that boy ran up at the end because he saw you grab your wallet and thought you were giving out money!” and “they’re going to come back tomorrow after you’ve gone to the bank” and “mom, they think you are a crazy lady!” i burst out laughing at the whole situation. so absurd. and like i said, sometimes i’m a spaz.